Are You Trying to Control the Uncontrollable?

The backlash is fierce when we try to control what we can’t.

Photo taken by the author (Big Bend National Park, TX; see Note below)

Are you trying to control the uncontrollable?

To shut down your worrying mind?

To stifle relentless sadness?

To cease unwanted physical symptoms?

To close your memory movie theater?

We are always trying to command the stuff that doesn’t listen to us.

I wish we had more power over it.

We try so hard, and yet our grief thickens like mud when we instructed it

to dissipate like steam.

That damn dull ache grows sharper and more unpredictable, with no ease in sight.

The only show on today is reruns of your most shameful and painful days. When will the curtain finally drop? Nothing you can do makes the rotten film end. 0/5 stars.

Trying to control all the uncontrollable things not only doesn’t work, but generally backfires.

We push our sadness, anxiety, grief and worry out the back door. (We try busyness, alcohol, food, drugs, shopping, anything we can find…)

Only for them to come barreling through the front door, twice their size.

When we finally realize or remember that such efforts to control are futile,

there is often relief.

Okay there may be some panic, too. But eventually, relief.

Symptoms of life in human skin require an awful lot of acceptance.

Of letting be.

Of course we have to do something, though. We can’t just sit there in the corner getting pelted relentlessly with pain. (That’s not what acceptance is).

Where can we put our efforts instead?

Look for the simplest thing that you can do. Something you actually have control over. 

Do that.

The suffering we endure while trying to control the uncontrollable dissipates when we let go of the fight.

Find the tiniest act that will bring you closer to what you care about and further from your losing battles.

Maybe inhale deeply and sigh, dramatically. Text a friend. Trim your nails. Scratch your dog’s head. Play with your cat. Look out the window and count the leaves. Turn on some music and turn it up. Write a list of to-dos for another day. Drink from your neglected water bottle.

Yes, the painful symptoms of being human are still here, but all these little actions we actually can do will add up, 

bringing ease to living with all this uncontrollable stuff.

kek

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NOTE: Big Bend National Park (pictured above) is pending significant destruction. US Customs & Border Protection is accepting comments on their proposed border barrier system through AUGUST 31. Please click here to learn more and protect this stunningly beautiful place. 🙏

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